If you’ve ever walked out of a trauma therapy session thinking:
“I’m not sure if anything is coming together… I just feel like I’m all over the place.”
You are not alone. In fact, this is both a common and important phase of deep healing work, especially in trauma and attachment-based therapies.
Think of it like a connect-the-dots coloring book: right now, the dots are appearing on the page, but the picture hasn’t revealed itself yet. It can feel confusing, even frustrating, but this is an essential step before you can see the full image.
The “Dots” Phase: What’s Actually Happening
In trauma therapy we often talk about how healing begins with emergence.
Pieces of experience that may have been hidden, avoided, or too overwhelming to feel start to surface. These are often flashes of emotion, body sensations, images, or new insights. And these are what we are calling the dots.
Your brain is doing something extraordinary during this time: it’s activating multiple affective channels (emotional pathways), bringing implicit memories closer to the surface, and allowing you to feel what was once too much to feel alone. This is the work of the right brain (experiencing, sensing, feeling).
But here’s the catch: your left brain (the part that weaves experiences into a clear story) hasn’t caught up yet. So it feels like there are dots everywhere, but no picture.
Why Integration Lags Behind Emergence
Neuropsychology research shows that integration unfolds over time, it’s not a single “aha moment” but a gradual weaving together of experiences.
The brain first needs to bring experiences online safely (emergence) before it can link them into a coherent narrative (integration).
Think of it like a puzzle: first all the pieces are dumped on the table. It looks messy, but it means you finally have the pieces you need. The picture takes shape later.
Signs You’re in the Dots Phase
- You notice more emotions or body sensations during the week.
- You have new flashes of memory or insight that don’t quite connect yet.
- You feel “all over the place” emotionally, but also more alive.
- You start questioning whether trauma therapy is working at all.
It’s normal for this phase to feel disorienting or even discouraging. You may wonder if you’re going backward or just stirring things up without resolution. This is part of the process. Your brain is reorganizing and building capacity to link these experiences in a way that will make sense later.
How to Support Yourself During This Phase
- Trust the process. This messy middle is where transformation is happening.
- Journal your dots. Write down feelings, images, dreams, or body sensations as they arise—no need to make sense of them yet.
- Notice what feels new. Even small shifts matter (“I cried instead of shutting down”).
- Talk about it in session. Your doubts, your confusion, your questions.
Dots Are a Good Sign
Being in this phase does not mean you are lost. Feeling scattered or disoriented can actually be a signal that your nervous system is finally allowing you to face what was once too overwhelming. Each emotion, memory fragment, or body sensation that emerges is like a dot on a page or a puzzle piece appearing on the table. Right now, you may see many pieces without knowing how they fit together.
Every time you stay present with what is coming up, you strengthen your ability to hold more of your experience safely.
Over time, your brain and body begin to connect the dots and assemble the puzzle. Revealing a more complete, richer, and compassionate story than you had before.
References
- Fosha, D., Siegel, D.J., & Solomon, M.F. (2009). The Healing Power of Emotion: Affective Neuroscience, Development, and Clinical Practice. W.W. Norton & Company.
- Siegel, D.J. (2010). Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation. Bantam Books.
- Panksepp, J. (1998). Affective Neuroscience: The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions. Oxford University Press.
